The Dream

Most of you are aware that life is extremely hard for me right now. My uncle Harry is in hospital, dying of terminal Cancer. He has less than two weeks left to live now, and it terrifies me. For some reason, I feel I have to document this dream I just had as it has significance. First i'll simply list it, then go on to interpret it.

I had just moved abroad, to a huge house. It was beautiful, but disturbing. My whole family was with me and, for some reason, I didn't want a room on my own. I wanted my brother to share with me, because I knew that if he didn't, my whole family would begin disappearing one by one. I had already watched one family member vanish (though this didn't actually feature in the dream) and it terrified me.

After a night of troubled sleep I gathered up a huge basket of clothing (everyone's washing), and took it outside to an alleyway with a low wall which was in our back yard and separate from the main walkway area by a fence. The wall was huge, and I began to lay out clothing out on it - it took me all day and, as the sun went down I became aware of a huge harbour down the hill from my new home, filled with large, beautiful yachts which gleamed against the harbour lights.

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The key elements in this dream are as follows...

Abroad -

This signifies my desire to escape my current situation. It also shows the unbalance and uncertainty in my life right now.

House -

The house is a representation of the self. In this case, it is a new home, so it shows that I am moving into a new period of my life. In my case, the house is haunted (as shown by the disappearing), this is concurrent to unfinished emotional issues, traumas, etc.

Disappearing -

People disappearing.. this is just what it seems like. Abandonment issues, fear of losing people I care about.

Wall -

Limitations and obstacles. A barrier. The fact that it is a low wall and I can, therefore, see over it, shows that this is a temporary barrier and I will get over it.

Clothes -

washing/hanging out clean clothes means i'm trying to change something about myself, and i'm laying out all my 'cards' to the world.

Harbour -

The harbour is safety, shelter from a storm. Linking this with the above, it means that i'm trying to hide from everything, that i'm not ready to deal with it. This is my obstacle. The harbour is momentary peace.

Yacht -

My 'goal'. Yachts symbolise peace and rest. They are luxurious and free from material cares. Mostly though, I just want to be okay.

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Rounding up, my current situation is Hell. I'm working through it, slowly. My dream is trying to tell me not to hide so much from the pain as it'll make it easier to get over my barrier - also, it is trying to ease my fears that my family will die. This is a very valid fear, as my brother has been in and out of hospital with multiple non-epileptic seizures we don't know the cause of, my mother has MS and my father has serious stress issues. My sister also has ME.

I just need to learn to cope, and i need to pursue my music. The music is my yacht.